


Windowsill

by Kaskarden (KaskardenFluvia)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No beta we die like mne, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24414586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaskardenFluvia/pseuds/Kaskarden
Summary: It’s a knock at the window that wakes him. Annoyed, he groans and rolls over, staring at the dark figure sitting on the windowsill. He already knows that it’s Kakashi. No one else he knows would rather knock on the window than the door.***Set during Kakashi's time with ANBU
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 143





	Windowsill

**Author's Note:**

> I watched over 100 episodes of Naruto in 2 weeks and this is what came out of that, this is mostly just really self-indulgent.

It’s a knock at the window that wakes him. Annoyed, he groans and rolls over, staring at the dark figure sitting on the windowsill. The moon is shining brightly from behind, so he can only see their outlines, but he already knows that it’s Kakashi. No one else he knows would rather knock on the window than the door. He had even given Kakashi a key, but he stubbornly refuses to use it. For a second, he considers staying in bed, just to teach his rival a lesson, but then Kakashi knocks again and there is something hurried and frantic in his movements that makes Gai’s heartrate spike. He’s over at the window in a heartbeat, his blanket sliding to the floor.

“Kakashi?” He asks as he pushes the window open. The other man doesn’t answer and now that Gai is standing directly in front of him he can see the blood covering him, matting his silver hair down and covering his shaking hands. It shines black in the moonlight.

“Gai.” Kakashi breathes and suddenly tips forward, barely giving Gai time to catch him as he falls in through the window. The impact is almost enough to make him fall over, but he only stumbles backwards a step, managing to keep both of them upright.

Kakashi trembles in his arms, his blood-covered hands fisting into the collar of Gai’s green T-Shirt. His eyes are wide open, but he seems to be looking right through him, the Sharingan spinning, and his other eye frantically flickering around the room.

“Kakashi?” Gai asks again, trying to keep his voice levelled, even though he feels a burst of panic and adrenaline shoot through his veins. Kakashi doesn’t answer, just mumbles something incoherent and Gai realises that his mask is soaked with blood as well. He frantically starts running his hands over his body, patting down his sides and trying to locate where the blood is coming from.

“Where are you hurt?” He demands to know, running his hands over him, looking for a cut or a stab wound. He gets another incoherent mumble as a response. 

“What?”

“It’s not my blood.” Kakashi whispers, eyes finally fixing on him for a second. The tiniest bit of relief washes over Gai at the words, but it is quickly drowned out by concern again.

“What happened?” He asks quietly and Kakashi opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out. Instead he lets go of Gai and stares at his hands.

“I…I don’t – I don’t know.” He stammers. The blood on his hands glistens in the moonlight. “I don’t remember.” He shakes his head violently and grabs his hair with both hands. Gai can see his nails digging into his scalp.

“I was on a mission and then-“ He breathes heavily. “-and then I – I couldn’t do anything. She just jumped. She _just jumped_. And then she suddenly – There was so much blood.” His breathing quickens and Gai takes step towards him but Kakashi jerks away, his back hitting the wall. His eyes stare into the empty space before him.

“There was so much blood and then she was dead and I couldn’t do anything and I let her die and she was bleeding and I killed, _I killed Rin, I killed her_ -“ He is hyperventilating now. “I killed her, she just jumped, I couldn’t stop her, I couldn’t-“

“Kakashi, that was years ago!” Gai says firmly, prying Kakashi’s hands away before he can start ripping out his hair. He tries to ignore how sticky his hands feel.

“You are having a panic attack.”

“What?” He asks, blinking rapidly, his breath still going in short, shallow bursts.

“Rin dies years ago, Kakashi.” He repeats calmly. “The war is over. You’re having a panic attack.”

Kakashi stares at him and Gai can almost see the thoughts racing behind his eyes. He blinks a few times and his breathing finally starts to slow down and the Sharingan stops spinning. Gai loosens his grip on his hands but doesn’t let go.

“Right.” Kakashi says. He takes another shaky breath and clenches his fists. “I need to go then.”

“What?” Gai asks and is so taken aback by the statement that he lets Kakashi’s hands slip out of his grip. The other man is already out of the window when he gets a hold of his blood-soaked jacket.

“Where are you going?”

“I- I need to help my squad.” He stutters, struggling against Gai’s grip. His hands are clamped around the window frame, knuckles white.

“You’re no use to them like this.” Gai responds trying to pull him back into the room. “You need to calm down first.”

“But they-“

“They’re ANBU. They can handle themselves.” He interrupts. Considering Kakashi’s current state they also might be dead already, but there is no need to speak that fact out loud. Kakashi looks at him for a long moment, before he finally lets go of the window frame again. He turns around and Gai can see his panicked expression give away to a look of utter exhaustion. He sways and Gai steps closer, grabbing him by the arm and steadying him.

“Come on, we’ll get you cleaned up.” Gai says quietly, nudging his friend away from the window. Kakashi wordlessly shuffles along, staring blankly ahead. He manoeuvres him past the bed and through the door to the bathroom. He flicks on the switch and winces as the harsh white light floods the room. Kakashi doesn’t seem to notice. Gai pushes him over to the sink and turns on the tap. Kakashi just stares at himself in the mirror, eyes empty.

“Kakashi?” Gai asks, nudging him with his elbow. He startles and glances down at the running water. Mechanically, he puts his hands under the tap and starts scrubbing. The water turns red and his shoulders tense, his movements turning frantic. His eyes narrow in disgust and he suddenly starts scratching at his skin.

“Hey!”

Kakashi doesn’t step, his scratching only getting more violent.

“ _Hey!”_ Gai shouts, turning off the tap and grabbing both of Kakashi’s hands by the wrist. Kakashi turns his face towards him, staring at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks and Kakashi glances down at his hands, red water dripping down onto the floor of the bathroom.

“There was so much blood.” His voice his hollow, and he refuses to look up, instead fixating on the small puddle of bloody water on the floor. Gai can’t think of anything to say, so he just keeps holding onto his hands.

Suddenly, Kakashi crumbles in on himself and there is nothing Gai can do but to go down with him, sharp pain shooting through him as his knees hit the tiles. A terrible scream fills the small room and for a panicked moment he thinks that Kakashi must have been hurt after all, but then the scream is followed by a heaving sob. Kakashi’s shoulders start shaking.

Gai is unsure what to do. This is so unlike the Kakashi he is used to, who always hides his emotions behind his cool and aloof demeanour. Over the years Gai has learned to register the slight changes in is voice and how to read the way he holds himself. He secretly prides himself on being one of the only people in Konoha who can actually tell how the legendary Kakashi Hatake is feeling. To now have him kneel on the floor of his bathroom, his emotions quite literally spilling out of him is a shock.

Kakashi screams again and now Gai is just following his instinct and pulls him into a hug, holding him close to his chest in a desperate attempt to both calm him down and muffle his scream.

“Hey.” He whispers, carefully running one hand through his bloodied hair. Kakashi presses himself closer again and screams into his chest, his hands clutching at Gai’s back. He can feel his body tremble beneath him.

“It’s alright.” Gai mutters, brushing his fingers through his hair. He carefully sits down, leaning his back against the wall, all the while keeping him close to his chest. “It’s alright.”

They stay like this for almost half an hour and eventually, Kakashi’s sobs die down to a sniffle. He raises his head off of Gai’s chest and shuffles back, slumping against the wall. He slowly raises a hand and runs it through his hair.

“I’m so tired.” He says after a while, his voice hoarse and thick from crying. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall.

“You need to take a shower first. You can’t sleep like this.”

Kakashi shakes his head.

“I can’t move.”

“Alright then.” Gai sighs, getting onto his feet again. “I’ll help you then.”

He crouches down and carefully removes Kakashi’s flack vest, throwing the blood-soaked garment into the corner of the room. Then he tugs at the hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it up.

“Come on, rival, raise your arms.”

Kakashi grumbles but obliges and Gai pulls the shirt off him and throws it into the corner as well.

“I’ll need to take this off as well.” He says quietly, hooking a finger around the edge of his mask. Kakashi gives him a nod and the mask quickly joins the rest of his blood-soaked clothes in the corner. His face is stained with blood underneath, smudged all across his cheeks. Gai’s heart aches at the sight.

“Gods, what have they done to you?” He asks, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumb. It only smudges the blood further. There’s no answer from Kakashi, who just looks at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

Gai grabs a towel off the shelf and holds it under the tap for a second before leaning down to his rival again. He quickly wipes away most of the blood on Kakashi’s face and arms, before getting the worst of it out of hair. There is no way he’ll get out all of it out without a shower, but it will have to do for now. At least it won’t stain everything like this.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He says and Kakashi nods again. Gai leans down and picks him up and Kakashi slings his arms around his neck, his head resting against his chest. He carries him out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, setting Kakashi down on the edge of the bed before walking over to his closet. He pulls out another green T-Shirt and throws it over at Kakashi who has apparently managed to kick off his pants. Gai turns again, quickly changes his own shirt and starts rummaging through his closet for something to replace Kakashi’s mask with.

“I don’t have a real mask.” He says apologetically and walks over to him. “But you can have this if you want.”

Kakashi looks at the bandana presented to him and nods, lazily tying it behind his head. He looks up at Gai. There is still a look of exhaustion in his eyes, but he seems more focused now, no longer hazily staring into the distance.

“I ruined your shirt.” He mutters and Gai looks down at his blood-covered shirt. “And your bathroom.”

“Don’t worry about it, Rival.” Gai responds and gives him a bright smile. “That’s what friends are for.”

“You shouldn’t have to sweep up the broken pieces of my life all the time.” He sighs, putting his head in his hands.

“Kakashi.” Gai says, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look back up at him. “I call you my _eternal_ Rival for a reason. I’m not going to leave you just because you’re having a rough time.”

“But-“

“I told you not to worry about it.” He says firmly. “The only thing you should worry about is getting a good night’s rest.”

It looks like Kakashi considers saying something but then he resigns to just lying down. He pulls the duvet over himself, burying his face in the pillow. Gai quietly steps around to the other side of the bed and lies down, carefully keeping his distance.

They lie in silence for a while and Gai thinks that Kakashi might have fallen asleep when he suddenly hears shuffling besides him and then a hand reaches out to him, lightly touching his arm. He turns onto his side and looks at Kakashi, only a dark outline beside him.

“Thank you, Gai.” He whispers. “For everything.”

Gai opens his arms and Kakashi moves closer, resting his head against his chest. Gai presses a light kiss to the top of his head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you find any spelling/grammar mistakes let me know.  
> Hope you enjoyed this, even though it is slightly OOC.  
> (Also, if you're reading this Clemens I hate you, but I admire your dedication)


End file.
